Tuesday, July 7, 2009

moles have me surrounded!

Nearly encircling my house is a series of mole tunnels. The grass has erupted, and the soil beneath is humped up like an erratic, drunkenly improvised Great Wall of China.

I wonder when they're planning their attack?

I suppose I'll sit up tonight with a flashlight, in case they throw the outside main breaker. And I'll cradle my .410 in my lap, with one hand gripping an out-of-date fire extinguisher. That's about all the weaponry I can muster.


  1. Psst! How is it going?? Has the attack begun yet?? :)

  2. There was a furious scrabblin' at the front door late last night. I just kept the lights all turned off and sat very quietly in the dark, fingering the trigger of my firearm...nervous sweat dripping from forehead to chin.

    Then!!...at the window behind me...voices. Ungodly, alien whisperings and conspiracies! I slowly turned my head and caught the starlit silhouette of a mole, shadow-grown to monstrous size. It moved past the window, apparently searching for a sneakier entry.

    Hours passed. I occasionally nodded off, only to be jarred awake by uncanny thuds coming from underneath the floorboards. Thank god, those creatures of darkness had no tools!

    So...I would say that a full-fledged attack is still coming...tonight or the next. Apparently, last night was only a reconnaissance.

    I'll let you know if I survive the siege!

    ~ Tim : )