Lucid? -- probably not

I don't want to call nobody a tall tale teller, but it's time to put lucid dreaming snugly to bed. I'm as skeptical as a wildebeest at a muddy, crocky river crossing.

I've had one lucid dream. I was a young fellow. For a brief moment or two, I was aware that I was dreaming. That will mess with your head big time. Reality will shake and tilt for days afterwards.  

I think all the "lucid dreamers" out there are either exaggerating things or confusing modalities. Again, I don't want to call anyone a fibber -- if someone wishes to insist he's a lucid dreamer, go on ahead with it. 

But becoming aware that you're dreaming while inside a dream is not natural and not something to be proud of. Persistent lucid dreaming (many people say all their dreams are lucid) would, I'm quite sure, turn a person into a permanent mute nut. 

I think this is what's actually going on: some people have sharp and detailed recall of their dreams. They confuse the mode of vivid recall with actual prior dream awareness. Or if they're just stretching things, I suppose that's okay. It can make a person feel dramatic and special, if that's what they need.

But again...waking up inside a dream will crack the inside of your skull and leak out your brains. It's just too bizarre and unnatural. After a real lucid dream, a fella would be so screwed up, he wouldn't be able to talk real English for many days. And if someone placed a compass on his head, the needle would spin around like a lost goose.